It's Just Heero, Relena, and a Whole Lotta Trouble
by TBOtaku
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and you know what that means! Not to mention Duo...drugged!! Heh heh heh! Oh, the humanity! Co-written by Bethany.


It's Just Heero, Relena, and a Whole Lotta Trouble!! (Vs. 1.0)  
  
The time is after colony 196. The war is over and Relena Peacecraft's idea of total pacifism has been realized. Except for the White Fang lead by a new leader trying to rally people in McDonalds. All the gundams have been laid at the bottom of the sea hopefully never to be used again. All the other mobile dolls have been exterminated and their parts have been used to do other useful things. Duo and Hilde were on a date, when a soldier from the White Fang walked up and placed a pill in Duo's food to make him think that Hilde looked like Heero and Heero looked like Hilde for a week. "This is a funny tasting soup! Huh? Heero? Where did Hilde go? And how did you get here?" Duo said. "What? Duo it's me Hilde! Don't you recognize me?" Hilde exclaimed. "Heero what are you talking about?" Duo asks. "It's me! ME Hilde! Remember?" Hilde is shaking Duo. "What?" is all Duo has to say. "Forget it!" Hilde shouts so loud that the whole restaurant can hear. "I'm never going out with you again as long as I live! I won't date a person who doesn't even recognize me!" Hilde storms out in a rage, while Duo stands there with a puzzled expression on his face. So anyway, Heero had decided it was time to propose to Relena (Hey this should NOT be a shock. We all knew it had to happen sooner or later.) But for some reason, whenever he did, something would always happen. (He would be chased by Duo or Relena would fly off somewhere, or he would lose it and run off blushing and had his hand over his face growling for people to get out of his way so it wouldn't "show.") It's Valentines Day and Heero is in his black spandex (like always) and a red tank-top because it was Valentines day and Heero wanted to give Relena a Valentines day card, but like I said, something would always come up. Heero is leaning against a brick wall in the alley waiting for Relena to show up. He has his card all filled out and ready when finally, Relena shows up wearing a red dress and red shoes. She sees Heero on the wall and runs over to meet him. But then Duo jumps over a trash can, over a fence and lands in front of Heero with a rose between his teeth stammering "I mmove mmu, Hmmphilde!" All Relena can do is stare, with this "Oh dear lord!" look on her face. "I think I'll leave you two alone." And she runs off. "Relena, wait! Hey!" Duo has wrapped his braid around Heero's head and has this goofy lovesick look in his eyes. "Oh Hilde! You are so amazing, smart, beautiful, talented…" * He starts to daydream, and little beautiful sparkly bubbles begin to drift and float gracefully around his close-uped face. * "Get it through your head Duo!" Heero shouts. "I am NOT Hilde, I am HEERO!" "Don't be a grouch Hilde! Whoa!" Heero, obviously boiling, starts to walk away from the public, which is   
staring at him unbelievably grossed out, dragging the smiling Duo who's braid is still tightly wrapped around his head. Everyone around the two pilots stare with gigantic sweatdrops on their heads, but as we all know this had absolutely no effect on Duo, who is grinning like a fool in love(which he is.)  
  
Not very far away, Quatre is having a party for one of his sisters who had just come home from a long trip from Africa. "Quatre! Hey Quatre!" Trowa calls out. "Boy! Are these all your girlfriends?!" He exclaims. All of Quatre's 29 sisters giggle to the remark. "No. These are my sisters Trowa." Smiling, he says, "I don't think you have meet them." All the girls curtsy. 'I wonder what it's like to have 29 sisters,' Trowa thinks. Quatre begins to tell his sisters names one by one and every kind of tea, coffee, and cookie they like with their tea. "This is and she likes" All Trowa can do is nod in response. Quatre goes on and on and Trowa is forcing himself not to fall asleep as day breaks. All of the sisters have gone to bed. Quatre in a now very hoarse voice finally ends somewhere around noon. "And that's it." And collapses to the ground in   
exhaustion. "Huh?" Trowa blinks awake from his sleep by the sound of Quatre falling. "T-t-trowa!!" He says. My voice really hurts. _Badly_. Can barely speak." "No kidding, little guy. Can I get you anything?" "Sure. Some tea with honey would be nice." "Okay. Just hold on." Trowa runs off to the nearest grocery store. "Hm. See Ringling Brothers today." Trowa reads a   
sign that's tacked to a wall. Forgetting all about Quatre, he goes off to see the show. Somewhere around the warm evening, Trowa walks out muttering on how the knife thrower was using a magnetized knife, and the lions were being treated poorly, and no one believed him. Then he looks up and sees and ad for throat medicine. "Ohmigosh! Quatre!" Trowa dashes to the Giant and races into the herbal tea aisle only to discover…."POCKY! OMIGOSH I WANT SOME!" Trowa immediately forgets about the tea and honey and begins to try to choose one out of the several flavors…*It's Poockyy, you get-so many choices, Poockyy, it's just-all that you want!! Lalalaa……Trowa is still in his singing daydream of Pocky and doesn't seem to look like he's going to regain his sense of stoicness very soon.  
  
* Two Hours Later, 2 Minutes Before The Store's Closing Time *  
  
* Intercom: Please exit the building. We will be closing in 2 minutes. Please exit the building. Repeat, please exit the building. Everyone, and that includes you, Mr. Unibang. *  
Trowa: Poock-wha? Where am I? Why am I here? Uhh…* mentally scans his thoughts * YAAHHH!! QUATRE'S TEA AND HONEY!! NOOOO------------!!!!!!! He grabs 7 boxes of Pocky™, fills up the cart with herbal tea and honey(the kind with the jar that's shaped like a honey bear, of course, for Quatre-chan.), runs like mad to the counter, and dashes out of the store, heading towards the Winner Estate. Good thing Quatre let me use his credit card! I'll just tell him I lost it! Buwahahahaa!! Trowa smiles wickedly, or at least attempts to, but fails. The end result is a rather goofy-looking and squiggly-mouthed Trowa running with a "stolen" shopping cart full of goodies down a busy street full of staring/oogling people. Trowa, like most gundam pilots, doesn't seem to notice at all as he crunches into a jumbo stick of mega-sized pocky™. The Pocky song starts again………  
  
* In a Dark, Deserted Alleyway………… *  
  
* Heero slams Duo against the wall. BANG!   
  
"Why can't you see that I am trying to propose to Relena?!" Heero yells.   
  
"Oh Hilde don't talk such nonsense." Duo replies dreamily. "You need to let go of your stress and come flying with Duo and Deathscythe."  
  
"Oh, I'll go flying with you Duo." Heero says with an extremely dangerous look in his eyes. "Why don't you go first!" Heero then punches Duo in the stomach and knocks him out cold. When Duo wakes up he thinks, 'Boy what a gal.' And goes out again.  
  
Wufei, meanwhile, has been practicing his Martial Arts, When he suddenly realizes how hot he is. He decides to take off his shirt and work in the sun for a while. Then as the afternoon goes on he decides it is way too warm and goes to work in the shade. Later he says to himself, "Hmm. Need to work on that kick. And these pants are becoming very tight because of the humidity. Oh well. At least no one is around at this time of day." And takes it all off. Meanwhile, Heero gets another mission from the new Dr. J and grabs the others, (They had to wait so Quatre could finish the tea) tied Relena's car to Wing Zero (because she wanted to go) got into their gundams, grabbed Wufei's gundam, and flew off. Wufei was totally bare when they arrived. They took him by surprise. "Well someone's a little happy today." Says Duo. Trowa is twitching the eye that is not covered by his hair but is silent. "My spaceheart can't take it!!" Quatre screams, still hoarse. Heero looks at Wufei, grabs a pad of paper and mutters "Notes! Notes!" A little bush is covering the embarrassing part of Wufei. Wufei looks at all of the gundams, and Relena. But when he sees Nataku, he becomes devastated. "Is this what you want to see?!" He screams at Nataku. "Is this it?!" And he comes out. Then Relena screams, and falls out of her car. "RELEEENNAA!!" Heero screams. But it was too late to catch her. Luckily, Wufei caught her. Unfortunately, she landed on his back. "Owww!! Huh? Get off me woman!" Wufei yells. "Huh? AHHHHH!" Relena screams. "What's your problem?" Wufei asks. "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Relena yells, covering her eyes and blushing. Quatre is still screaming about his spaceheart, until Trowa calms him down. Duo is laughing hysterically and is telling Heero who still thinks is Hilde, to cover her eyes. Heero is just looking away until Wufei gets his clothes on. Wufei is then in Nataku, filled in on the mission, and they set off. They go out and destroy a McDonalds where a White Fang meeting is being held and come home to relax. Finally the drug that made Duo think that Heero was Hilde and Hilde was Heero wore off, and he became normal again. He and Hilde made up and started to date again after he explained everything to her. They finally caught the guy who put the pill in Duo's food and needless to say, he won't wake up from the coma Duo put him in for another three or four months. Quatre finally got his voice back and he, Rashid, and Trowa, (Rashid after Quatre asked him very politely and sternly) went to go set free 101 Dalmatians and other breeds from the pound. Then they went to Africa and destroyed all the poachers they could find that they caught hunting lions. Wufei and Relena apologized to one another, (Wufei's didn't really sound much like an apology, but an insult and Heero grabbed his gun and he apologized nicely after that.) and Heero finally had some peace and quite so he could propose to Relena. They got married and only allowed Sally and the other pilots so they wouldn't have to kill anybody. Then they decided to have a double wedding for Duo and Hilde because they were going to anyway. So then they all went their separate ways but always stayed in touch. And once in a while had to go destroy a McDonalds.  



End file.
